LATE NIGHT STORY
Time 6 ‘o’ clock ,sun was almost dawn ,cool bridge began to show that this is late December ,me and my friend were woofing on the barren road as semester was over and we hadn’t gone home this time . Suddenly we heard rehearse sound ,some sought of slogans were consecutively striking our ear drum “nahi chaleggi nahi chalegg…” as we reached nearer ,we gotta know ,it’s a street play rehearsal that people were going to perform at mood-I. Thus, how I was stricken Mumbai this time .I gotta two major reasons for Mumbai ,prime as a participant at mood indigo, I have been applying for this since last three years and every time it’s being cancelled because of some reasons . We made a plan to not make a plan for Mumbai, it would be a random visit ,no shelter ,no direction …only a sightsee….
Me – hurry up!!! It’s 9.45 pm ,Train would be already on its platform. Pg-just a minute …it could not leave platform without us.(he is a very affirmative kind of person and been always with some alternatives if something wrong happens, he could make us to reach Mumbai however.)
Me –take some woolen wearing ,night stay could be at marine drive.
Pg- yaa my boy ..i know ..Don’t worry. Mumbai is a coastline city .
Me-all right..in case if it will be too cold ..then “vagrant dogs” are always there to pass a night .
Pg-vagrant dogs!!!!!How???? .He exclaimed.
Me- just choose a dog …hug it tight and pass a night .haha…
Pg- LOL!!
We got to station, took a general class ticket of worth of rupees 165. Station been always a place that suffocate me .Rush, Rule and luggage Responsibility are three “R” that being always taught to take care of. It was 10.45 pm train took it’s first whistle ,we got a boggy next to master engine .It was full ,no place to sit ,some people were more than comfortable ,they assumed the INDIAN RAILWAY as their parental property and we guys were supposed to make them to feel that their perception is wrong. A loaded lady(too much fatty even may not be able to manage her own weight) occupied whole lateral berth ,excusing to let her lean as she been travelling for last 2 days.
Pg made a request..
Pg- aunty (in convincing voice) can yu just stand and sit ,I need to sit . Aunty didn’t replied…
Pg-aunty !! can I find a sit here..(little louder)
Aunty stretched her leg even more ….Her husband get up and asked “what’s yur problem man ??, let her sleep .Can’t yu see how much she got exhaust of the journey.
Pg- no!! he replied.
I had not been with him for last 2 days. (With merge anger)
He said straight forward to the man in the most fracture manner. Person began for excusing by saying she would get up by next 5 minutes,this made to loose my patience, finally I spoke .
Me- uncle ..i have a watch ,and yur count down starts.
I told in most hatred way ,he thundered on us as soon as he gotta this to his ears.
Man-what the hell with yu people (he angered on us). A lady equivalent to yur mother sister ,just leaning down because she has not been feeling well , don’t yu understand (he shouted on us).
Pg lost his temper …he replied in smarter way..
Pg-don’t yu people understand, yu may also keeping son like us, don’t yu feel shame if yur son has to travel whole night standing nearby gate.
Man could not find any more words, might be his co science shut him. Aunty suddenly got up, as she was fooling us but could not carry it any more. Though she expressed her anger in a manner which usually girls and women prefer to do.
Aunty-shut up, I do not need to hear any nuisance any more. Just get this place and don’t get touch to me ,neither talk to me.
And finally she shuttered. I took the danger seat and was feeling as being kept near to electric furnace where I was not supposed to move a little towards the burning lady. Train reached to Rajkot, we took pg’s friend as a part of mood-I. I hand over the seat to other fellow who boarded the train from Rajkot, as I was not comfortable with the lady. We all three took the sit on to the boggy door. Me and Andy(pg’s friend) sat down, leaning our legs outside the door, pg was set on our leg. Train speed was 100km ,we could feel the cold bridge of barren night of December directly hitting to our uncovered face .Suddenly I felt a jerk ,some sought of collision I could feel with my right leg, my leg for a while got unconscious ,it was a head on collision with a stone .I got anxious ,if something would have happened to my leg. I could loose my leg. After two minutes ,I could feel it’s presence and got it back , I checked whether I could walk properly or not ..and instantly got up ,left the place ,shut the door and get inside. Thank god. Everything was all right. We sat inside the boggy ,they both began to talk as they met after long time ,I began to search to get something that I always like to do. Finally I got a story …an old man came to me .
Old man –“Surat chhe..??”(Surat arrived??)
Me- no ,probably next station could be Surat.
He again got to his sit .Though there was enough space to at least sit down near to
berth ,yet he find his sit near to toilet which was fowling as much that if a person find emergency yet he would prefer to control rather than going and consuming that foul smell. He was an old man, victim of malnutrition, with no clothes on top of body, wrapped his body only with a plastic bag that being used in packaging of fertilizers. He was a rag picker by profession, with his bag containing used plastics, papers and some synthetic items. He was too ugly to see, his abdominal part has a ditch that can store 0.5 kg water, gloomy face with deep eyes , long beard and a seal over his nostrils because of moustaches seems as he is the earliest man on earth who is still alive .My heart revealed with a pain when I saw him sitting near toilet ,just to save himself from outside cold as well as from evil teasing of people in boggy, that might have resist him to take a better place.
Old man-“Surat chhe..??”(Murmuring voice) .
He again came and asked me..
Me- not yet!!
I tried in most humble way.
The way he was asking by escaping his own identity, showing that he is afraid to ask to good looking people. Perhaps he gotta rude behavior or might be asked by someone to get off the train because of ugly appearance or somebody would have beaten him. Something very wrong went with the man .
We all three dispersed to some places wherever we could find place in boggy. They both were able to find enough space on upper berth and went to sleep .I began to hear Atif Aslam , 0.75 an hour passed ,suddenly I got a remind of that old man . I went to toilet, he was still there, sleeping as he worked whole day. I asked a man standing near the gate .
Me- Surat arrived??? (I was full of anxiety)
Man-( he gave me a strange look and answered sarcastically.) Beta train has left Surat 0.5 an hour ago.
Me-ohh..shit …the old man !!! I regretted. I went to him and called.”kaka” Surat has passed 0.5 an hour ago. Old man –let it .(answered as he was not bothered at all .he was sitting with a scary posture )
Me- I thought he may be leaning or feeling sleepy therefore I again reminded him.
Old man –let it ,yu just go and find yur seat .
Suddenly a man standing near by gate spoke.
Man –don’t worry he is an orphan ,he has no shelter .He has been travelling in this train from last month. He was asking for Surat because once he was caught by Travelling ticket examiner (T.T),they took him ,scold him because he was travelling without ticket.
Me-how did yu know?? I asked.
Man –I have been travelling on this route last three months, we met 4 times and this is the 5th .I only advised him to get this boggy as it is next to engine and being rarely inspected by a ticket checker.
Me-I was amazed ,my anxiousness changed to curiosity. I sarcastically asked.yu wanna say this is his home??Right.
Man –not exactly, but to some extent. He would keep doing this until this winter passes. Outside is so cold therefore he sheltered himself .This is a general class boggy always been found full of people, here he can find some warmness that can at least save him to die because of extreme cold.
Me- “How could he manage his food”
Man-He is a rag picker, he gets waste food from home and offices. Whole day he works and at night he takes a train for shelter..
Train whistled, it was ‘Vapi’ ..
Man-okk.. boss nice to meet yu ,he said and left the train.
Me-I took my seat ,began to think , about my worries ,my grief ,my adversity, my problems ….
I get depressed when I get less grade, I assume no one loves me when I do not get any call for consecutive 2 days from my home .I keep anxiety what people thinks about me, about my dresses, about my wearing .I am very much bothered about, why people are ill minded about me , why they are not coordinating and helping by character. I feel insecure to get hurt, cheated by people in surrounding. I feel being insulted when my teachers get harsh on me. I get stick to inferiority when I find, I am not rich. I feel embrace ,being discarded when someone shows an act of ignorance ,not share the things ….so many problems I have ,and for all that , I use to blame the god for each and every cause…but the old man gotta only one problem that is he should not be caught by T.T. He has no hopes ,no expectation , no one to fight ,no one to take care ,no one for being cared, no criticism and even no god to whom he can blame .For him life is not to secure or achieve something ,for him life is to pass the time because once he was being given birth. He is saving his last breathe just because he feels death is even more panic .His primary requirement is to secure life for each day ,for every moment ,My own problems seems to be just as an excuse or fake ,just to fool others because if these are the problems then what the old man facing ,should be called. As an upgrade animal, he doesn’t want anything from us, neither food nor shelter ,but a human behavior ,that can at least resist him to feel like unwanted material on earth. The life is already been very despotic to him; a good human behavior may always strive him to live atleast and give a condolence that he is a human ,rich by destiny and poor by money. I took the window seat, pin off my ear phone as the songs too were adding the overwhelming feelings and emotions about the man which i wanted to resist at that time.
I rounded my neck, spin my eye balls towards the gate, the old man was running off platform as somebody would catch him and he ought not to be punished . I knew the reason and urged for him to be fair of all mighty .
I got exhaust ,i want a seat where i could find a deep sleep at least for an hour . As far as I went to sleep , I caught by a son of his father, along with him . Son was a boy of age 4 years and father is a father with no age glory on his face. But both were very immersive to talk .I showed my reluctance to have a conversation ,but they were too much desperate to tell ,to share...i could not deny as they were in front of my berth ...
Father-from where ??my friend .
Me-(murmuring in my own words) "lo fss gayi jal machhali"(it's a dialogue that i use to deliver when i got catch in this type of situation where willingly or unwillingly i set myself to listen ,it's word to word means" the fish has been caught") Ahmadabad ,i replied.
Father -ohh..the city of Manchester !!
Me- yaah..
In most strange way as i was unaware of the fact .
Father -where is yur destination??
Me-probably Mumbai central ,as far as i know.
Father -"as far as i know "(he was astonished). Are yu running from yur home, or any sought of thing wrong..i guess.
Me-no, nothing like that .It's just because, i do not know much more about Mumbai, still i need to go Mumbai .
Father -"ohh...if yu need i can tell yu ".he showed his utterances.
Me - no it's fine .My friends are with me, they can manage .
I replied in most odd manner as he seems to be very desperate to talk and i need to sleep .I could not let him a chance for that .
Father -friend!!where ...??
Me-"those langoors"(pointing my finger towards upper berth )
Father -haha...
While the time ,he engaged to make his son asleep ,he took out 3blankets and covered his son .i was gazing as, a beggar gaze for food ,a dog for marrow of bone ,it was dawn night ,extreme cold ,i was shivering because i don't have blanket ,but i was much far better conditioned than that old man . Father took 10 minutes to make his son sleep ,as soon as his son slept ,he again caught me .before he ask about me ,i put up the question as questions are much shorter as compared to answers ,thus how i can save myself . Me-something tell about yur experiences, about yur profession...??
As soon as i asked, Beauty of his face suddenly gloomed .he seems as a man with strong guilt, same as the ancient mariner felt after the “asbestos” was killed.
Me- everything all right sir?? Am i not supposed to ask this question.??
Father - no, everything is fine (he recovered his facial expression) i am a clerk ,i have been travelling through this route for last 2 years .
Me- I interrupted, daily??
Father- no, once in a week .
then he began his story ....i have been doing work as a clerk for last 2years ,my officials have true faith on me ,i am a man with honour ...,honesty ,humbleness etc ... Etc ..(he not only praised himself but also conveyed the delicacy of his son as him .while synchronising the old incidents ,his voice was murmuring and stammering as something was piercing him .my sleep went off .i began to feel as man is in problem .I straight forward put up the question .
Me-what the thing??
Father-honesty has been washed away from this world . Everyone was involved ... My officials to whom i paid my honesty and respect, didn't save me when i had been dismissed from my job.
Me-dismissed!!! What was the reason?
Father-a lady filed a case against the company for conveying wrong information .Her claimation was approved and company had to pay her the compensation. later company inspected and i was convicted ,though my other officials too were also responsible for all .I blindly put my faith on them ,but later they all refused to save me .Company dismissed me from the job .
Father- why yu was only being accused .It was all by mistake.
Father - hehe..(he gave a sarcastic smile) every mistake need to be paid .Company paid to the lady and i paid to the company .
Me - don't worry ,they too gonna pay someday .honesty ,truth can be teased but can never be defeated .(i consoled him ).just let it go ,all happened has passed ,never take the things to the heart ,heart is being given just to pump the blood ,not to reveal any kind of pain .
I began to move him from his pain . I asked about his son .
Me- how's cute is your son .(though he was not ,bulky stomach fitted with a little face connected through an invisible neck joint.)
Father- yaa this is my son (he pride fully pronounced) .He is dare enough to talk ,not like other child of his age .let me tell yu one incident ...
Me-yaa sure ..
Father- once me and my son were travelling through spice jet from Mumbai to Bangalore .If it is in yur knowledge,the spice jet airways have most charming and good-looking air hostage .ladies with short skirts, long heel sandals ,fair face with over make-up ,came to notice of my 4 years old son .He publically spoke ,"paa look at those women ,their clothes are too short to wear ,how could they adjust them on their body .don't they feel shame ". I was astonished by his statements; all senior citizens clapped what my son said. I too felt proud of him ... These all unwanted stories were stretching me, i could neither listen nor shut my ear door. But some philosophical thoughts began to strike my mind, how much people are expressive, i never met him before, neither gonna meet in near future but still he put up his life incidents. Sun rose ,i could see the reddish appearances occurs before sun actually comes out from the shaddy mountains .sound created by the changing of rails ..,local women with Marathi tone ,and old age people with their religion norms were all symbolising as i was travelling to any other part of world . I went to sleep ,thinking about the old man ,about the guilt of a father and thousands of stories that are untold just because people never got someone to tell .
After half an ever ,my phone rang ,it was 6,o'clock alarm that was being set for my exam, still remained snooze. “Paalghar" was the station , i took out my bsnl 3g service to find out where actually we had to de-board the train and ,Dadar was the station from where Powai could be reached in most convenient way ." Dadar " i heard a lot ,in movies ,in terrorist attacks .A Movie called "rape" i saw it 15 years ago where a girl in movie was brutally raped by three son's of rich men ,it emotionalised me to the extent that i regretted !!why i could't save her ,though it was a movie . Dadar was the station from where they (three) boarded the train and it's the reason why Dadar got stick to my mind .
We took breakfast ,asked there for Vikhroli and reached IIT Mumbai .
I took my pass as i had been already registered for literature and writing. This was only the name that we were knowing as a event, title suggested to others events could not clarify us for what they are .. Thus it became quite boring to stay there..the event for which i registered was at last day of the fest .we left for "Mumbai Bhraman ". Mumbai been always a place that was my extreme desire to visit .A lot of places are already in my aquitance as it’s a Bollywood city.i stayed at Mumbai for two nights and three days.last 5 hours I dedicated to Ghatkoppar railaway platform.i waited there for someone to appear ,but unfornately I couldn’t find her.she was one of my friend with whom I had a cold war ,and I wanted an appology for all wrong that happened. At 10.05 pm ,i reached the station ,took a general class ticket ,inquired for the train ,for the platform no. Train was Gujrat mail ,departing Dadar (Mumbai )sharp at 10.45pm.I rushed to the door of boggy ,pushed some of gentleman besides me to get seat ,they abused but who cares ,they reciprocated in most odd manner but who cares ,it was journey of 8 hours and i could not compromise .I occupied my seat ,it was a glory ,i got seat in general class boggy of INDIAN RAILWAY which was not less than climbing the Everest ..i guess .I sat ,pin in my ear plug and began to listen Akone "sorry for the blame ". While adjusting myself ,my eyes get caught to screen of 5.7 inch ,galaxy note 4 ,guy was typing" good bye forever " i will never wanna see yu again too". Though i came to know ,those were break up words but delivered for whom!!! . I rounded my eye balls towards the top of screen ,it was a girl ,pretty and beautiful . Again I looked up the screen ,just above the boy was typing ,it was written "sorry Keshav ,i don't care for any one , i quit of what we had ,good bye ". Haha ..i laughed for a while ,the girl had already done everything from her side ,only the boy was doing is just a self-satisfaction ,just to satisfy his ego . I looked up the boy ,stressed ,stretched cheeks ,tilted face ,wrinkled eyes and a pain of break up that his face was glooming, could be seen .
I been always enjoying these all from last 3 years ,people get engaged ,talk for months ,for years ,and finally come up with a word "good bye". Boy shut his screen ,toggle on the music player ,pinch out a song and began to hear .About half an hour ,we both keep on listening ,here i was playing "matlabi ho zara matlabi " as soon as i change ,i look up into his screen ,he came to Imran khan "bewafa nikli tu" haha...i could not stop laughing in my own , boy was already with breakup ,he seems to be like a lion starving for months ,just need a running blood and that i could not serve him of mine . I better keep pretending and remained mourn for 15 minutes . suddenly i heard a greeting sound ..
Hii...
I turn about 30 degree ,he was no one else than a break up boy .
Me - hii...
Boy -are yu native of Mumbai .(he gently asked)
Me - no ,I am basically from Rajasthan ,studying in Gujarat and came to Mumbai for a cultural fest and now finally returning home.
Boy- ohh..i thought ..(he stopped without completion ) "Yur good name" he asked .
Me - umnn..good!! I exclaimed and answered ,dev " and yur is Keshav ,i think .
He was surprised, how could I get to know his name .
He desperately asked
Boy - how do yu know ??
Me - hehe..i came and sit beside yu ,i looked upon yur screen ,it was written Keshav- Pareeneeta.I guessed ,yu are Keshav and girl was Pareneeta to whom yu were ....(i stopped )
I didn't thought before what i said ,boy could allegate me of seeing his personal chatting . I began to prepare myself to bear the words like "how dare yu to see my personal chat ","Don't yu have common sense ",Are yu wild enough that yu even don't understand this " ..
Boy - ohh..(he showed his negligence, i could breathe ) then yu must be knowing ,i have breakup just 1hour ago .
He sarcastically put his words ,but with fair facial expressions .
Me - hehe..yaa ,sorry!!! I was just looking for the time but unfortunately yu were typing "good bye forever " that came to my notice and i read yur chat ,displayed on the screen.
I didn't read much (i began to escape myself) .
Keshav-let it, what matters !!! He expressed.
Me- what happened, was it a relationship, friendship ??
Keshav - don't know .( he pretended not to tell )
Me- yaa ,a boy and a girl can never be friend (these were the words that one of my friend told me which i always opposed ) ,i joked ,but he didn't expressed.
Keshav- May be, May not be.
I could feel, just 1hour passed, he began to give diplomatic answers, on one side he
was regretting for break up while on other side ,he was pretending that girl could not succeed to hurt him .
Me- yu can tell me, it seems yu were long with the time.
Keshav - yaa from 8th standard.
Me - from 8th !! I was surprised. Yu people grown up very early. I was trying to make him to tell his story, because i had a whole night to pass ,though i had nothing to do with these kind of stories . Keshav – yaa. We were in 8th standard of St. Paul school, Nasik .We had 8th, 9th,and 10th together .
Me -( i interrupted ),yu are from Nasik ,travelling in” Gujarat mail” .!!
Keshav- yaa ,I called by my uncle 's friend for his retirement party at Ahmadabad .we had good relations ,he is like just next to my uncle .
Me-ohh..that's nice .
Yaa ..yu were in 10 th ..i reminded him ..
Keshav - we had a class of 60 ,40 were boys and 20 were girls . She was prettiest among those twenty .she always got better marks and had been doing well even in sports .I remember the day, it was basketball match ,her team almost about to loose ,but the way she accomplished the match impressed me a lot .i faced her for first time, when there was a foul ball hit by opposite team ,i was spectator as i used to be fond of outdoor games ,ball was hit towards me ,i collected ,she came to me and asked for the ball in most requesting manner ,I got stick to her voice, for a while ,the sound that i never heard ,expression that i never seen ,most fascinating and pleasing was the moment ,thereafter i never missed a basketball match of my school .I had been a shy guy from my birth ,I don't know how to address the people ,how to make them friends and hence always been alone ,preferred to be alone
.A lot i wanted to tell her ,but she could never make a notice of that .She gotta lot of friends from school and from coaching classes .I never preferred coaching classes for studies ,but as soon as i came to know ,i joined the same classes ,same batch .I keep gazing her for two years ,but she could never notice .i always regretted ,perhaps she could be my friend, but it didn’t happen.
Me - yu liked her ,yu followed her to her coaching classes ,yu joined same batch ,yu were from same school yet she could never noticed yu ,yu had no conversation .either she was dumb or yu were too much afraid of her .
Keshav -i was too much shy . I do remember the late February ,we had practical examination conducted by central board .Though it was a board practical exam of biology, we got same experiment to perform .Practical was to detect the amount of starch present in potato by making a slide ,using iodine indicator and observing it under microscope . I was not knowing actual procedure ,she was beside me ,i could not ask her to brief me the whole procedure . she voluntarily came and explained whole thing ,but i could not catch up anything she told, as insecurity surrounded me ,not of because that i might get catch , but she shouldn't be caught .At last she asked ,"did yu get ,now start performing ??" i said yes, just to impress her , though it was not .
This was the only conversation i had in my school . After exams, she went Nagpur, where her uncle resides.
Me- yu ??
Keshav - I came to Mumbai for further studies .I opt for science and mathematics and continued with studies .
Thereafter ,i never saw her ,neither we had common contacts .I engaged myself with science and mathematics .Though i got a lot of girls in my new institutions but i never thought for them. Each day i used to think of her ,her first voice that i heard at basketball court got stick to my mind and gonna remained last for ever . I began to think ,perhaps 10th would have never passed .I lost Parineeti ,girl whom i followed for continuous 365*2 days ,irrespective of her response .i made an
account on fb ,searched her profile ,but never found a correct match. This i had been doing for last 1 year .
Me-about 3hour before ,yu have yur break up with a girl name Pareeniti ,right ??.
Keshav - yaa .
Me- then how a guy can have break up ,without getting engaged . (i doubted) .
He continued.
Keshav - i know only one Pareeneeti ,she is only girl to whom i know . I never thought we would meet again ,was it destiny!! Or my 5 years strong determination about a single girl might have given me a prospect . Once i was reading a time line post of my friend ,just left of the post ,i saw a name suggested as Pareeneeti Pavery ,i went to profile , I was astonished !!!! IT WAS WRITTEN Pareeneeti Pavery Birth date - 5jan1993. Passed St.Paul school in 2009.
My heart reveals with a joy ,i got a life whom i lost .My happiness was equivalent to a thirsty crow ,searching for water ,suddenly found a blue appearance . Same as the ancient mariner felt after he was being saved of thunder of stormy night . That day ,i visited her profile for 120 times ,but could not dare to send a friend request .Thereafter it became my schedule to visit her profile ,view her posts ,see her friend list and log out without sending her request .
Me-yu were amazing!!
Keshav -Yaa, coward enough to sustain pain but never dared even to make her friend .
Me- then how yu could have break up!!!! I expressed my willingness to know. (he was peeling me ,not saying how actually they met ).
Because a guy could never have a break up without getting engaged until and unless he is mental or psycho person ,though he was not seems to be But maybe..
Keshav -just 6 months before from now ,16th of august ,i went to fb after 15 days ,i had exams in between ,yu must be knowing engineering exams does not allow even to breathe well .till one paper gets over ,other is in next 20 hours ,where half of the course is being set to study just in those 20 hours. We have no word called "revision "in engineering .
I tabbed for my profile ,15 friend requests were sent .I began to search 3 most prior . Down the list ,second last from bottom ,dated 1st august ,“Pareeneeti Pavery wants to be friend on Facebook".
I didn't know how to respond ,I was out of my mind ,how things could favour me to this extent .i never talked to her neither have common friends .She went to Nagpur just opposite to Mumbai , it was all unexpected happening at the time . girl to whom i like most ,for whom i wondered for 5 years sent me a friend request .i was astonished ,the grief went off ,i was cheering the moment with myself . i immediately took the cursor to the tab ,clicked ...one time ..two times ...thrice ..no respond ..Suddenly a dialogue box appeared..yu are not connected to connectivity network .I put out my LAN cable off ,and again inserted ,perhaps it would work ,but my Indian thoughts didn't work ,we don't believe that the computer runs on technology ,instead of we have strong faith on other superstitious thoughts . I searched out control panel ,clicked for connectivity and sharing network ,it instructed that some additional information may be required .I could not think what to do ,immediately dialled the customer care no ,I spoke .. What the hell with this network ,if yu can't provide a better service ,then yu should not take this responsibilities . Girl at customer care apologize for the inconveniency caused ,she took a note of my complain and consoled that i would get my connectivity in next 24 hours .
Me- haha..just 10 minutes before ,yu were praising yur destiny and very next moment yur perception might have changed !!(i commented on him )
Keshav -no!!...nothing was expected but still i got. (He optimistically replied .) It took two days of repair ,those two days ,i passed thinking what , might she would have been thinking of me ,she sent a request 15 days ago ,and these two days more passed ,i could not respond her .i need to talk to her ,wanted to know where she been for last 5years ...how she knows me ?? ..so much enquiries jumbled in my mind .
At 3rd day ,I respond to her friend request .I could feel the essence of peace that someone feels after completion of long term pending work .
Me- thank god finally yu became a friend .(with urging tone)
Keshav - (smiled ) but still a long struggle waiting for me ,i took 15 days to send her ..
Hii....
"How do yu know me???
She didn't replied for 4 days .I began to feel as i asked her very in genuine thing . As yu know, when we want to talk to someone, we could not wait, every moment passes seems to be as a century passes.
Two days passed, no reply she gave, i began to console my poor heart ."Might she be busy somewhere". She too might have internet problem ...and many more.. On 3rd day, my optimism about her began to melt ,i started feeling insecure , began to regret why i asked her this .what she would be thinking of me .A fool like me ,instead of telling hello and asking about her ,i put up a nonsense question . 4th day ,evening ,i gotta reply
“Keshav if i am correct “,yu were my classmate of St .Paul school Nasik . She was remembering me ,though i was so much uncreative ,non -talkative guy.
“How, Girls are so much pretty from their heart” .
Me-(i interrupted him) no !!.Parineeti could be but not others ,thus how i put up my words .
Keshav- yu are misogynist!!
Well, thereafter ,i frequently began to talk to her ,we were just introduced and i suddenly stroke with a self-realisation , "if i continue ,talk to her ,i may fall in love ,and thereafter if i proposed her and she came with a negative response ,where would i go ?? Though i was knowing that she doesn't know me ,yet i feel so much about her ,then getting engaged with her definitely leads me to fall in love .I would not be able to manage myself if she denies.
Me- haha ..yu were afraid of the consequence ,if she would deny .(i made a sarcastic smile and said) then yu shouldn’t see her ,liked her .
Keshav - i would have never do that, if it was in my hand .It was all destined.
Me-so what yu were going to decide ,not to talk anymore .Did yu unfriend her??
. Keshav - not exactly, but something sought of like that . I stop visiting fb so frequency as i used to .
Almost a month passed ,i changed my locality from Ghatkopar to ..Koproli...........i have been a guy who always been alone by destiny . I have never been offered any option ,instead of being asked, always instructed to do .I left out my local friends ,though very few .I said Purva (my roommate) to help me out in shifting . Purva suggested me not to leave , as i would be alone he had been with me for last 6 months ,we became besties for each other ,but however due to some problem i could not reside in Ghatkopar anymore . I didn't pay any attention towards his convincing request . Pain of separation of getting detach from a guy like Purva
was scratching me .But however i need to manage myself strong enough . He cried but i don't .He said me heartless and i said yaa i am . Later i consoled him ,Purva i am not leaving the world ,”right now” .plzz don't let me feel so bad . Then he stopped and gave a smile ,i do remember his last words ,he said " milte rehne ,bhul mat jaayiyo muje ,I gave yu 5contacts no. of mine ,please don't forget to make a call at least ".I left with my luggage .on the way ,i was synchronising with all the good and bad memories ,i had with Purva . "How he served me as a brother when i got fall on bed" .He used to carry 1kg mango daily ,half for me and when i refused to take ,he always used to say "i haven't asked " it's an order ,he never allowed me to say anything that could favour me emotionally and financially him.
Me- i suddenly spoke "did yu see, friendship with a boy remains forever, ‘therefore just don't let a girl roam around yu .She only knows to scratch the heart .
I tried to console him as he was in that phase of life where he had a break up with a girl .
Keshav-..no friend !!...yu don't know Keshav .!!!He exclaimed .
Me- what!!!, i am talking about Purva ,yur best one .
Keshav - yaa ...he had gone . "milte rehna "was the last statement i heard from him when i was leaving .Thereafter for six months ,i never called him .neither i gotta a call from him . I engaged too much with that known girl. (he was regretting )
Me- heyy ..yu did very wrong ,just for sake of a girl ,yu forgot Purva .
Keshav - yaa i know. Just six days before i called him, his all 5 number.Were denied .i went to Ghatkopar, where i resided with him.
He stopped ..his eyes gloomed and flooded .He began to stammer ..
I thought guy had his break up just 4 hours ago ,while synchronising the things ,he might get some what emotional).but the fact was something else.
Me - heyy just don't feel bad to this extent, she was only a girl .I do understand yur feelings but just don't let it to go to yur heart to this extent.
Keshav - (he regained his voice ,made the most panic statement )“Purva is no more "
Me - i was stunned ,what !!!!
How!! I asked.
Keshav-I went to Ghatkopar, asked one of my friend residing there, “where is Purva” .I am calling him and he is not responding.
Purva !!..He had left 2months before for his village "kaniyad " and never returned. He replied.
I was astonished, why?? .Had he left his studies??
"No ,he gotta domestic quarrel in between his family which led him to suicide attempt and he succeeded .Purva is no more .He directly splitted on my face ,my eyes flooded, face gloomed, body sweaten ,voice stammered,
I regretted, ohh..Purva ..why yu sacrificed ,i do remember when he shared and disclosed his family issue regarding the financial problem .
Me- ohh...it's so freaky to be heard .Money became the reason, it’s been very regretful .(i expressed my condolence .)
May god reside him in heaven ,i urged .
I wanted him to be back from Purva ,i deliberately asked " girl was Pareeneeti with whom yu engaged to this extent ??,where yu forgot even Purva ,yur best friend.
Keshav- yes !! But it was not her fault.
Me - yaa i know .How did yu get her back?? Yu said ,yu left her .
Keshav - couldn't .Koproli was a new place ,again i was stuck with loneliness ,no one to share ,to talk ,thus was being only left with social media ,where i could find some known people.I again started visiting Facebook .I got her message “keshav yu are so busy ??” I didn’t replied her for 3 days ,4rth day i lost my serenity , “no it’s not like that ,just somewhat engaged in room shifting”. I replied.
There after neither i stopped nor she .She explained how she knows me , i have brief yu about ,my 10th practical exam ,where she came and explained the whole procedure ,she told me , she was knowing that i could not understand what she elucidated. I again asked “suri “ my lab assistant ,to help me out to clear the exam. She heard the conversation that i had with suri when she left after her explanation .” I told “suri “ plzz help me out ,i couldn’t concentrate what she said ,actually i am afraid of her.I just keep moving my head up and down when she was asking “got?? though i didn’t. I just wanted her to complete however because she voluntarily came .Suri laughed and commented “the time has come where boys are afraid of girls” ,for a while I thought to smash suri for his comment ,but i let him as i was left with no option other than Suri to clear exam.
She took this to her heart “why a boy scare of me, though i don’t look like a monster ,neither i am head girl of the school. This influenced her.
While the conversation, i always concealed the fact, what i think, for how long and what she meant for me.I came in that phase of life ,where emotions ,love began to matter for me. I could feel life with a good company is far better than sucking loneliness. I gotta a person with whom i can share ,being helped and can make her moralistic part of my life. Every day, from morning wake up to late night, i began to be with her, virtually. We had late night discussion; she was very affirmative about the politics, where i used to oppose. I do remember ,how she thundered when i proclaimed “politics is nothing but a “ mud” and i am not interested” she came up with the real meaning of democracy ,she debated and won , i admitted and start following AAP ,to make her feel that ,i too began to take interest.
Me- it means she is AAP follower and because yu like her ,yu too began to follow AAP.(i commented .)
Keshav-hehe..might be.
Me-well,i have no words .....yu continue...
Keshav – 3 months before ,i proposed her..
Me- yu..yu coward !!!!!!
Keshav – yes ...
Me- but for sure, yu hadn’t tell while facing her.
Keshav- very correct!! I wrote her the message. ”Miss Pareeneeta, yu have been a girl, whom Keshav is following from the school.” I do like yu.
Me- what she replied?
Keshav- “It’s my pleasure”.was her reply.
Me –haha..Nothing more..
Keshav –what else more!!!!
Me- more. Like. Thanks, but we are good friends. .haha ..(i laughed) ,like a girl usually does.
Just joking ...like yaa i too feel the same.
Keshav-heyy...she is a girl, how could she say this. They never prefer to say this.
Me-why can’t they. They too got a mouth to speak, to express.
Keshav – yaa but ....i don’t know. But she didn’t said no.
I instantly thought ,”lo fss gayi jal machhali” machhali here refers to boy ,it means boy has been caught.
Me-she continued talking yu??
Keshav- yaa off course!!
Then i assumed, might she too like him .Otherwise in majority of cases , boys always presumed and continue...the things ,later on ....they got nothing except the immense feeling of the song like “bewafa nikli tu” .
Me- yu met her??
Keshav – yaa 2 months before from now, she was in Nasik, my home town, i too got semester break. I went there; i called her to Gangapur dam, one of the visiting place of Nasik.
At 5.pm i reached, i was feeling like, I never felt before. So much insecurities began to prevail in my mind, it was not less than a exam for a student, interview for a bachelor and promotion declaration day for an employee. While the time, I heard decelerating sound of an auto rickshaw, a girl gorges in blue-white strip top, radiant hair ,long heel sandals ,fair glow with budding face , moving towards me ,she could be no one else than pari,girl for whom I have been captive for last 5 years. She came near stretched her hand to greet, but before she could say.
I said, hii.. it’s keshav.
She said ,yaa i know...
You are beautiful, I complimented.
Pari-yaa I know!!! She sarcastically said.
Really ,this words are from my heart. I again expressed.
ohh…yur heart speaks, then what this cavity containing a tongue and 32 teeth does?? She said in most hilarious manner.
I could only give a laugh, kind of sense of humour she got can hang me out.
I thought to better shut this, otherwise girl gonna bashed me.
Then i began to tell her, how i used to gaze her at St. Paul School, Nasik. How much i waited. And all that. She too shared her experiences.
We talked for an hour, she got a call from her father to come home and she left.
Me-Then how this day came ??? i asked him the reason of “good bye “.
Keshav –Thereafter we keep on talking, during the course of time, She began to reciprocate in most unrealistic manner. Showing me her importance ,yu know when yu express yourself ,yur need ,yur priorities to someone ,and if it includes a person’s name ,in most of the cases it is lead to generation of false attitude and egoism instead of giving it a valuence.She assumed herself as my need, though she was but she began to pretend as I had been overexcited to talk her .I don’t know whether she used to do that all in hilarious mood or not ,but she suddenly changed
her attitude . I felt it very embracive. Sometimes she was very fair and caring but sometimes she sentences that could only lead to quarrels. I couldn’t judge what was wrong and what was right. Why she was doing all that ,I could’nt understand.
Me-what could be the reason of her sudden change ??
Keshav –not sure but social turbulence caused by intercasteism could be the reason.
Me-ohh….then she should interact with people of her caste only(I sarcastically said)
Keshav-yaa very true ..
(he gave smile).
but I was unable to understand ,sometimes she was more than fair but sometimes she purges out in most unrealistic manner.
Me -then yu would have also come across the thoughts like ,’I love her but she don’t ,she loves me but I don’t, we love each other but neither wanna express or no yarr.. we don’t love at all’.
Keshav-no !!! He intensively expressed.
I never wanted her to love me .It was all her choice; neither I invited her to talk. I didn’t chose her; she was chosen .Love has no choice, it’s an integrity that being felt by people who are in.She began to take an advantage of my generosity. I loved her ,but not more than myself. She had been with me from 8th standard, but I have been with myself from my birth. Love is not all about compromisation ,it’s all about mutual understanding that reveals to concrete relationship. If it was her response then I would like to prefer to have all one sided.
He began to reveal his pain by synchronising the causes and effects of his break up. I didn’t have any experience but I could see that the boy was going for long holiday with his disillusionment feelings .He enjoyed the time he got to spend with her and now he was supposed to pay for all amusive, lovable moments.
They were the people with right spirit ,but not mature enough. Girl gonna remain a girl only because they have the power to hide those stretching feelings ,but a boy is going to evolve either in form of shayar or a writer, because they could not hide .and this is the fresh example that I can set ‘,keshav ‘ neither he knows me nor I ,still he spread out his feelings in front of me.
Me-I don’t know what to say,but still I was to say”yu did right thing at wrong time” I flashed on him, what is love in yur case??
Keshav –didn’t get yu??
Me- I mean can yu elaborate the 4 letter word LOVE. Keshav- love is not a word first of all, neither one can define. Love is a involuntary action of mind , feelings of affection ,attraction that comes from heart which leads to generate a caring ,helping attitude, trust and honest characteristics, a profoundly tender ,passionate affection for one another ,feeling of warm personal attachment. Love is giving without expecting in return. It sounds like the ultimate act of self-sacrifice . But the trouble with giving, and I mean happily and limitlessly giving without expecting in return, is that one has to be self-sufficient, and full of love for oneself. So, in a way, I believe love is selfish, because only a person who loves themselves fully, can give fully without expecting, without needing, without dependency. Me-I need a break !!!! (the way he defined was a intimate approach of convince.) Time was 3 o’clock of morning .train whistled for Baroda junction.I need to have some drink other than water and asked keshav too, to get something for him as well.I just asked him for sake of asking but he didn’t refused and said me to bring amul milk which cost me more 30rs. Me-this reason doesn’t enough to have break up, and if it is only the reason, then it is very regretful.
Keshav-reasons !!!(he exclaimed) I don’t want reasons for break up,neither I believe in this word.In my perception when two people talks ,shares then there are chances of contradictions,mismatch of thoughts,not every time they can be similar.For me every one cannot be keshav ,who always supports in my thoughts and concerns.One should understand the gravity ,hidden inside the fact.It reveals a pain when I think about the people just evolving in most dislike manner because of very little things.One should be very generous and calm while such kind of things happen. The essensivity of true love lies in mutual understanding and giving priority to the right choices of yur beloved.and if someone fails to do this either by showing dictatorial behaviour with his own choices or compromising with wrong choices regarding her choices ,then it was just nothing but a kind of
attraction , but not love .I couldn’t let it to get approved just as a attraction in my own case.I like her because of her quality of thoughts that matches with her beauty that ensure a unique existence in my mind. We had many discussions ,some of them reveals to quarrels , with or without being having a genuine reason ,every time I approaches her for appology,many times she too was supportive.but this time she couldn’t make up neither I tried to get her back because of her choice.. I want her to feel free ,and concentrate on studies. And finally being responsive ,I said her good bye.
I didn’t even think of my those 5 years ,5 years without any friend but a imazination of a girl. Without any moral support but a self-assumed suggestions of her, whenever I found some panic time in my days,I always thought to impress pari ,what she would think of me, a coward !! if such a small thing reveals me pain ,thus how I could make my self .I observed her for consecutive 3 years ,what ever I found something different ,I granted those skills ,emotions,introversy ,knowledge in my own life.My loneliness was not lonely because of pari.Two marvellous people I got are purva and pari.Purva has left 2 months ago and now Pari. Life is confluence of joy and sorrow. Sometimes it make us to feel the luckiest one and as soon as yu get confidential about it ,next moment being set to flush away every thing.
Me -Well keshav ,Yur definition is mature and convincing.Yu are the guy seems very pure from heart. Just keep on moving and don’t let your self-down .I don’t say Pari would be back but definitely a fairy would come to you ,beauty as Pari and heart as Purva. Keshav gave a half sealed smile .He became the first person to whom I cannot say anything .Otherwise I have big shots for the googlies so called love. He was very true and honest .His patience ,intellectuality of words,generousity all together constitute something worth that can be praised . For next 10 minutes ,we both went for a silence .I began to search for my luggage ,down the berth .As soon as I get up to my seat,keshav suddenly put a question.
Keshav- heyy ..why yu are so much negative about love .yu seems to be somewhat misogamist kind of person.Is there any story behind this kind of behaviour or it’s being gifted to yu from yur birth.
This was the expected question from keshav .When somebody tells yu his story ,in response yu are being asked such questions.
Me hehe.. no it’s not like that you are pre-assuming. I love both men and women. Only the thing is that love stories always come to me in most hilarious way.
Keshav –why?? If I may ask.
Me- as such there is no genuine reason.
Keshav –any girl ?? As expected ,how he can leave me without asking this.I smiled as person usually does when such question being put up.
Me-I have 200 contacts in my phone.Among those only 5 or 6 might be saved with name of girls .Among those 5-6 ,three have already blocked me.Anything more yu want to know ,(I smiled and said)
Keshav -haha…(he gave a lol).May I know the reason of yur blocked contacts.
Me-Reason !!!!! as such no reason .
Train whistled ,time was 6 o clock morning ,it was suppose to reach Ahmedabad ,but was late by 10 minutes.
Me- where yur uncle resides in Ahmedabad. Keshav-near railway station ,koylapur. He pronounced kalupur as koylapur.I gave him a loud laugh . .
Me-it’s kalupur,not koylapur.
Keshav –ohh..i was told this only but it seems as meaningless therefore I fed koylapur which contain koyla that means coal .
Me -Somebody would be there on railway station or yu need to manage yourself??
Keshav –yaa..uncle’s son ,he would be already there to receive .
Train began to slow down ,rails keep on changing ,train got the signal to acquire platform .everyone in the boggy began to search for their luggage ,ladies shouting on their children to be with them. Everyone began to rush though train was having half an hour of stay.Keshav and me at last DE board the train.Keshav was to leave ,we shook hands and I delivered the last words . Me- well keshav ,it’s been great journey ,sorry as I made to extract yur whole story containing overwhelmed feelings and emotions .
Keshav-it’s fine ,what I would do keeping it as secret. Thousand of such stories are there,many are prevailing in minds of people. I observed it to share and therefore shared and made a 8 hour journey more comfortable and associative, this is the only use that I can make out of it.
His uncle’s son reached the platform to receive him . I finally said him bye , wished him all the best .
People in surrounding are in unconditional need of one another.Raggpicker was struggling to fulfil his phyisiological needs ,his prime challenge was not food but the human criticism which frighten him .He was saving himself like a mice from a cat .human could not be so much sophisticated. They are known for their wisdom, cardinal values, fraternity and integrity. We believe in sustainable development but doesn’t practice for it.
Father as a clerk was rewarded to resign for being honest to his officials.His guilt was regardless for conveying wrong information to the lady but loosing a faith and discarded by company whom he payed honesty for long years.He perceptionalised that truth and honesty would never be rewarded neither it could even save of being scold.
Boy with true love is overwhelmed with pain of break up. What could be the reason. Why girl would have showed a sudden irreponsive behaviour .Is there any social constrain that she felt and realise that are being set as society norms??.perhaps she might have changed her mind set by considering the most threatening intercast system of society. She might have felt better to supress her choice and follow the system.Is that really society mean???Are we really acquaintance with the term society. Society is a social bonding of people ,regardless their cast ,religion, linguistic and geographical background, which ensure happiness among the people.it ensures fraternity ,helping ,caring and coordinating characters of a person for assertion of a sustainable life for all. How people could have problem if a boy and a girl gets united irrespective of cast and religion. We put social boundness instead of bonding by regulating intercast system which prevails suffocation. It’s been very regretful for being a part of social network where rules and regulations are set to supress people’s choice. We assures unity in descreting the people, equity by discriminating on basis of gender ism in form of male dominating culture ,intercaste ,inter-religion and many more that could never be a part of social culture. We are challenged by our own sophisticated rules. We ensure our false existence with the social culture but the fact is that we don’t know what does society actually mean.
Are Poor not humans ????????????
Truth and honesty can be teased but never defeat!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love is life but people find a problem in it.
Time 6 ‘o’ clock ,sun was almost dawn ,cool bridge began to show that this is late December ,me and my friend were woofing on the barren road as semester was over and we hadn’t gone home this time . Suddenly we heard rehearse sound ,some sought of slogans were consecutively striking our ear drum “nahi chaleggi nahi chalegg…” as we reached nearer ,we gotta know ,it’s a street play rehearsal that people were going to perform at mood-I. Thus, how I was stricken Mumbai this time .I gotta two major reasons for Mumbai ,prime as a participant at mood indigo, I have been applying for this since last three years and every time it’s being cancelled because of some reasons . We made a plan to not make a plan for Mumbai, it would be a random visit ,no shelter ,no direction …only a sightsee….
Me – hurry up!!! It’s 9.45 pm ,Train would be already on its platform. Pg-just a minute …it could not leave platform without us.(he is a very affirmative kind of person and been always with some alternatives if something wrong happens, he could make us to reach Mumbai however.)
Me –take some woolen wearing ,night stay could be at marine drive.
Pg- yaa my boy ..i know ..Don’t worry. Mumbai is a coastline city .
Me-all right..in case if it will be too cold ..then “vagrant dogs” are always there to pass a night .
Pg-vagrant dogs!!!!!How???? .He exclaimed.
Me- just choose a dog …hug it tight and pass a night .haha…
Pg- LOL!!
We got to station, took a general class ticket of worth of rupees 165. Station been always a place that suffocate me .Rush, Rule and luggage Responsibility are three “R” that being always taught to take care of. It was 10.45 pm train took it’s first whistle ,we got a boggy next to master engine .It was full ,no place to sit ,some people were more than comfortable ,they assumed the INDIAN RAILWAY as their parental property and we guys were supposed to make them to feel that their perception is wrong. A loaded lady(too much fatty even may not be able to manage her own weight) occupied whole lateral berth ,excusing to let her lean as she been travelling for last 2 days.
Pg made a request..
Pg- aunty (in convincing voice) can yu just stand and sit ,I need to sit . Aunty didn’t replied…
Pg-aunty !! can I find a sit here..(little louder)
Aunty stretched her leg even more ….Her husband get up and asked “what’s yur problem man ??, let her sleep .Can’t yu see how much she got exhaust of the journey.
Pg- no!! he replied.
I had not been with him for last 2 days. (With merge anger)
He said straight forward to the man in the most fracture manner. Person began for excusing by saying she would get up by next 5 minutes,this made to loose my patience, finally I spoke .
Me- uncle ..i have a watch ,and yur count down starts.
I told in most hatred way ,he thundered on us as soon as he gotta this to his ears.
Man-what the hell with yu people (he angered on us). A lady equivalent to yur mother sister ,just leaning down because she has not been feeling well , don’t yu understand (he shouted on us).
Pg lost his temper …he replied in smarter way..
Pg-don’t yu people understand, yu may also keeping son like us, don’t yu feel shame if yur son has to travel whole night standing nearby gate.
Man could not find any more words, might be his co science shut him. Aunty suddenly got up, as she was fooling us but could not carry it any more. Though she expressed her anger in a manner which usually girls and women prefer to do.
Aunty-shut up, I do not need to hear any nuisance any more. Just get this place and don’t get touch to me ,neither talk to me.
And finally she shuttered. I took the danger seat and was feeling as being kept near to electric furnace where I was not supposed to move a little towards the burning lady. Train reached to Rajkot, we took pg’s friend as a part of mood-I. I hand over the seat to other fellow who boarded the train from Rajkot, as I was not comfortable with the lady. We all three took the sit on to the boggy door. Me and Andy(pg’s friend) sat down, leaning our legs outside the door, pg was set on our leg. Train speed was 100km ,we could feel the cold bridge of barren night of December directly hitting to our uncovered face .Suddenly I felt a jerk ,some sought of collision I could feel with my right leg, my leg for a while got unconscious ,it was a head on collision with a stone .I got anxious ,if something would have happened to my leg. I could loose my leg. After two minutes ,I could feel it’s presence and got it back , I checked whether I could walk properly or not ..and instantly got up ,left the place ,shut the door and get inside. Thank god. Everything was all right. We sat inside the boggy ,they both began to talk as they met after long time ,I began to search to get something that I always like to do. Finally I got a story …an old man came to me .
Old man –“Surat chhe..??”(Surat arrived??)
Me- no ,probably next station could be Surat.
He again got to his sit .Though there was enough space to at least sit down near to
berth ,yet he find his sit near to toilet which was fowling as much that if a person find emergency yet he would prefer to control rather than going and consuming that foul smell. He was an old man, victim of malnutrition, with no clothes on top of body, wrapped his body only with a plastic bag that being used in packaging of fertilizers. He was a rag picker by profession, with his bag containing used plastics, papers and some synthetic items. He was too ugly to see, his abdominal part has a ditch that can store 0.5 kg water, gloomy face with deep eyes , long beard and a seal over his nostrils because of moustaches seems as he is the earliest man on earth who is still alive .My heart revealed with a pain when I saw him sitting near toilet ,just to save himself from outside cold as well as from evil teasing of people in boggy, that might have resist him to take a better place.
Old man-“Surat chhe..??”(Murmuring voice) .
He again came and asked me..
Me- not yet!!
I tried in most humble way.
The way he was asking by escaping his own identity, showing that he is afraid to ask to good looking people. Perhaps he gotta rude behavior or might be asked by someone to get off the train because of ugly appearance or somebody would have beaten him. Something very wrong went with the man .
We all three dispersed to some places wherever we could find place in boggy. They both were able to find enough space on upper berth and went to sleep .I began to hear Atif Aslam , 0.75 an hour passed ,suddenly I got a remind of that old man . I went to toilet, he was still there, sleeping as he worked whole day. I asked a man standing near the gate .
Me- Surat arrived??? (I was full of anxiety)
Man-( he gave me a strange look and answered sarcastically.) Beta train has left Surat 0.5 an hour ago.
Me-ohh..shit …the old man !!! I regretted. I went to him and called.”kaka” Surat has passed 0.5 an hour ago. Old man –let it .(answered as he was not bothered at all .he was sitting with a scary posture )
Me- I thought he may be leaning or feeling sleepy therefore I again reminded him.
Old man –let it ,yu just go and find yur seat .
Suddenly a man standing near by gate spoke.
Man –don’t worry he is an orphan ,he has no shelter .He has been travelling in this train from last month. He was asking for Surat because once he was caught by Travelling ticket examiner (T.T),they took him ,scold him because he was travelling without ticket.
Me-how did yu know?? I asked.
Man –I have been travelling on this route last three months, we met 4 times and this is the 5th .I only advised him to get this boggy as it is next to engine and being rarely inspected by a ticket checker.
Me-I was amazed ,my anxiousness changed to curiosity. I sarcastically asked.yu wanna say this is his home??Right.
Man –not exactly, but to some extent. He would keep doing this until this winter passes. Outside is so cold therefore he sheltered himself .This is a general class boggy always been found full of people, here he can find some warmness that can at least save him to die because of extreme cold.
Me- “How could he manage his food”
Man-He is a rag picker, he gets waste food from home and offices. Whole day he works and at night he takes a train for shelter..
Train whistled, it was ‘Vapi’ ..
Man-okk.. boss nice to meet yu ,he said and left the train.
Me-I took my seat ,began to think , about my worries ,my grief ,my adversity, my problems ….
I get depressed when I get less grade, I assume no one loves me when I do not get any call for consecutive 2 days from my home .I keep anxiety what people thinks about me, about my dresses, about my wearing .I am very much bothered about, why people are ill minded about me , why they are not coordinating and helping by character. I feel insecure to get hurt, cheated by people in surrounding. I feel being insulted when my teachers get harsh on me. I get stick to inferiority when I find, I am not rich. I feel embrace ,being discarded when someone shows an act of ignorance ,not share the things ….so many problems I have ,and for all that , I use to blame the god for each and every cause…but the old man gotta only one problem that is he should not be caught by T.T. He has no hopes ,no expectation , no one to fight ,no one to take care ,no one for being cared, no criticism and even no god to whom he can blame .For him life is not to secure or achieve something ,for him life is to pass the time because once he was being given birth. He is saving his last breathe just because he feels death is even more panic .His primary requirement is to secure life for each day ,for every moment ,My own problems seems to be just as an excuse or fake ,just to fool others because if these are the problems then what the old man facing ,should be called. As an upgrade animal, he doesn’t want anything from us, neither food nor shelter ,but a human behavior ,that can at least resist him to feel like unwanted material on earth. The life is already been very despotic to him; a good human behavior may always strive him to live atleast and give a condolence that he is a human ,rich by destiny and poor by money. I took the window seat, pin off my ear phone as the songs too were adding the overwhelming feelings and emotions about the man which i wanted to resist at that time.
I rounded my neck, spin my eye balls towards the gate, the old man was running off platform as somebody would catch him and he ought not to be punished . I knew the reason and urged for him to be fair of all mighty .
I got exhaust ,i want a seat where i could find a deep sleep at least for an hour . As far as I went to sleep , I caught by a son of his father, along with him . Son was a boy of age 4 years and father is a father with no age glory on his face. But both were very immersive to talk .I showed my reluctance to have a conversation ,but they were too much desperate to tell ,to share...i could not deny as they were in front of my berth ...
Father-from where ??my friend .
Me-(murmuring in my own words) "lo fss gayi jal machhali"(it's a dialogue that i use to deliver when i got catch in this type of situation where willingly or unwillingly i set myself to listen ,it's word to word means" the fish has been caught") Ahmadabad ,i replied.
Father -ohh..the city of Manchester !!
Me- yaah..
In most strange way as i was unaware of the fact .
Father -where is yur destination??
Me-probably Mumbai central ,as far as i know.
Father -"as far as i know "(he was astonished). Are yu running from yur home, or any sought of thing wrong..i guess.
Me-no, nothing like that .It's just because, i do not know much more about Mumbai, still i need to go Mumbai .
Father -"ohh...if yu need i can tell yu ".he showed his utterances.
Me - no it's fine .My friends are with me, they can manage .
I replied in most odd manner as he seems to be very desperate to talk and i need to sleep .I could not let him a chance for that .
Father -friend!!where ...??
Me-"those langoors"(pointing my finger towards upper berth )
Father -haha...
While the time ,he engaged to make his son asleep ,he took out 3blankets and covered his son .i was gazing as, a beggar gaze for food ,a dog for marrow of bone ,it was dawn night ,extreme cold ,i was shivering because i don't have blanket ,but i was much far better conditioned than that old man . Father took 10 minutes to make his son sleep ,as soon as his son slept ,he again caught me .before he ask about me ,i put up the question as questions are much shorter as compared to answers ,thus how i can save myself . Me-something tell about yur experiences, about yur profession...??
As soon as i asked, Beauty of his face suddenly gloomed .he seems as a man with strong guilt, same as the ancient mariner felt after the “asbestos” was killed.
Me- everything all right sir?? Am i not supposed to ask this question.??
Father - no, everything is fine (he recovered his facial expression) i am a clerk ,i have been travelling through this route for last 2 years .
Me- I interrupted, daily??
Father- no, once in a week .
then he began his story ....i have been doing work as a clerk for last 2years ,my officials have true faith on me ,i am a man with honour ...,honesty ,humbleness etc ... Etc ..(he not only praised himself but also conveyed the delicacy of his son as him .while synchronising the old incidents ,his voice was murmuring and stammering as something was piercing him .my sleep went off .i began to feel as man is in problem .I straight forward put up the question .
Me-what the thing??
Father-honesty has been washed away from this world . Everyone was involved ... My officials to whom i paid my honesty and respect, didn't save me when i had been dismissed from my job.
Me-dismissed!!! What was the reason?
Father-a lady filed a case against the company for conveying wrong information .Her claimation was approved and company had to pay her the compensation. later company inspected and i was convicted ,though my other officials too were also responsible for all .I blindly put my faith on them ,but later they all refused to save me .Company dismissed me from the job .
Father- why yu was only being accused .It was all by mistake.
Father - hehe..(he gave a sarcastic smile) every mistake need to be paid .Company paid to the lady and i paid to the company .
Me - don't worry ,they too gonna pay someday .honesty ,truth can be teased but can never be defeated .(i consoled him ).just let it go ,all happened has passed ,never take the things to the heart ,heart is being given just to pump the blood ,not to reveal any kind of pain .
I began to move him from his pain . I asked about his son .
Me- how's cute is your son .(though he was not ,bulky stomach fitted with a little face connected through an invisible neck joint.)
Father- yaa this is my son (he pride fully pronounced) .He is dare enough to talk ,not like other child of his age .let me tell yu one incident ...
Me-yaa sure ..
Father- once me and my son were travelling through spice jet from Mumbai to Bangalore .If it is in yur knowledge,the spice jet airways have most charming and good-looking air hostage .ladies with short skirts, long heel sandals ,fair face with over make-up ,came to notice of my 4 years old son .He publically spoke ,"paa look at those women ,their clothes are too short to wear ,how could they adjust them on their body .don't they feel shame ". I was astonished by his statements; all senior citizens clapped what my son said. I too felt proud of him ... These all unwanted stories were stretching me, i could neither listen nor shut my ear door. But some philosophical thoughts began to strike my mind, how much people are expressive, i never met him before, neither gonna meet in near future but still he put up his life incidents. Sun rose ,i could see the reddish appearances occurs before sun actually comes out from the shaddy mountains .sound created by the changing of rails ..,local women with Marathi tone ,and old age people with their religion norms were all symbolising as i was travelling to any other part of world . I went to sleep ,thinking about the old man ,about the guilt of a father and thousands of stories that are untold just because people never got someone to tell .
After half an ever ,my phone rang ,it was 6,o'clock alarm that was being set for my exam, still remained snooze. “Paalghar" was the station , i took out my bsnl 3g service to find out where actually we had to de-board the train and ,Dadar was the station from where Powai could be reached in most convenient way ." Dadar " i heard a lot ,in movies ,in terrorist attacks .A Movie called "rape" i saw it 15 years ago where a girl in movie was brutally raped by three son's of rich men ,it emotionalised me to the extent that i regretted !!why i could't save her ,though it was a movie . Dadar was the station from where they (three) boarded the train and it's the reason why Dadar got stick to my mind .
We took breakfast ,asked there for Vikhroli and reached IIT Mumbai .
I took my pass as i had been already registered for literature and writing. This was only the name that we were knowing as a event, title suggested to others events could not clarify us for what they are .. Thus it became quite boring to stay there..the event for which i registered was at last day of the fest .we left for "Mumbai Bhraman ". Mumbai been always a place that was my extreme desire to visit .A lot of places are already in my aquitance as it’s a Bollywood city.i stayed at Mumbai for two nights and three days.last 5 hours I dedicated to Ghatkoppar railaway platform.i waited there for someone to appear ,but unfornately I couldn’t find her.she was one of my friend with whom I had a cold war ,and I wanted an appology for all wrong that happened. At 10.05 pm ,i reached the station ,took a general class ticket ,inquired for the train ,for the platform no. Train was Gujrat mail ,departing Dadar (Mumbai )sharp at 10.45pm.I rushed to the door of boggy ,pushed some of gentleman besides me to get seat ,they abused but who cares ,they reciprocated in most odd manner but who cares ,it was journey of 8 hours and i could not compromise .I occupied my seat ,it was a glory ,i got seat in general class boggy of INDIAN RAILWAY which was not less than climbing the Everest ..i guess .I sat ,pin in my ear plug and began to listen Akone "sorry for the blame ". While adjusting myself ,my eyes get caught to screen of 5.7 inch ,galaxy note 4 ,guy was typing" good bye forever " i will never wanna see yu again too". Though i came to know ,those were break up words but delivered for whom!!! . I rounded my eye balls towards the top of screen ,it was a girl ,pretty and beautiful . Again I looked up the screen ,just above the boy was typing ,it was written "sorry Keshav ,i don't care for any one , i quit of what we had ,good bye ". Haha ..i laughed for a while ,the girl had already done everything from her side ,only the boy was doing is just a self-satisfaction ,just to satisfy his ego . I looked up the boy ,stressed ,stretched cheeks ,tilted face ,wrinkled eyes and a pain of break up that his face was glooming, could be seen .
I been always enjoying these all from last 3 years ,people get engaged ,talk for months ,for years ,and finally come up with a word "good bye". Boy shut his screen ,toggle on the music player ,pinch out a song and began to hear .About half an hour ,we both keep on listening ,here i was playing "matlabi ho zara matlabi " as soon as i change ,i look up into his screen ,he came to Imran khan "bewafa nikli tu" haha...i could not stop laughing in my own , boy was already with breakup ,he seems to be like a lion starving for months ,just need a running blood and that i could not serve him of mine . I better keep pretending and remained mourn for 15 minutes . suddenly i heard a greeting sound ..
Hii...
I turn about 30 degree ,he was no one else than a break up boy .
Me - hii...
Boy -are yu native of Mumbai .(he gently asked)
Me - no ,I am basically from Rajasthan ,studying in Gujarat and came to Mumbai for a cultural fest and now finally returning home.
Boy- ohh..i thought ..(he stopped without completion ) "Yur good name" he asked .
Me - umnn..good!! I exclaimed and answered ,dev " and yur is Keshav ,i think .
He was surprised, how could I get to know his name .
He desperately asked
Boy - how do yu know ??
Me - hehe..i came and sit beside yu ,i looked upon yur screen ,it was written Keshav- Pareeneeta.I guessed ,yu are Keshav and girl was Pareneeta to whom yu were ....(i stopped )
I didn't thought before what i said ,boy could allegate me of seeing his personal chatting . I began to prepare myself to bear the words like "how dare yu to see my personal chat ","Don't yu have common sense ",Are yu wild enough that yu even don't understand this " ..
Boy - ohh..(he showed his negligence, i could breathe ) then yu must be knowing ,i have breakup just 1hour ago .
He sarcastically put his words ,but with fair facial expressions .
Me - hehe..yaa ,sorry!!! I was just looking for the time but unfortunately yu were typing "good bye forever " that came to my notice and i read yur chat ,displayed on the screen.
I didn't read much (i began to escape myself) .
Keshav-let it, what matters !!! He expressed.
Me- what happened, was it a relationship, friendship ??
Keshav - don't know .( he pretended not to tell )
Me- yaa ,a boy and a girl can never be friend (these were the words that one of my friend told me which i always opposed ) ,i joked ,but he didn't expressed.
Keshav- May be, May not be.
I could feel, just 1hour passed, he began to give diplomatic answers, on one side he
was regretting for break up while on other side ,he was pretending that girl could not succeed to hurt him .
Me- yu can tell me, it seems yu were long with the time.
Keshav - yaa from 8th standard.
Me - from 8th !! I was surprised. Yu people grown up very early. I was trying to make him to tell his story, because i had a whole night to pass ,though i had nothing to do with these kind of stories . Keshav – yaa. We were in 8th standard of St. Paul school, Nasik .We had 8th, 9th,and 10th together .
Me -( i interrupted ),yu are from Nasik ,travelling in” Gujarat mail” .!!
Keshav- yaa ,I called by my uncle 's friend for his retirement party at Ahmadabad .we had good relations ,he is like just next to my uncle .
Me-ohh..that's nice .
Yaa ..yu were in 10 th ..i reminded him ..
Keshav - we had a class of 60 ,40 were boys and 20 were girls . She was prettiest among those twenty .she always got better marks and had been doing well even in sports .I remember the day, it was basketball match ,her team almost about to loose ,but the way she accomplished the match impressed me a lot .i faced her for first time, when there was a foul ball hit by opposite team ,i was spectator as i used to be fond of outdoor games ,ball was hit towards me ,i collected ,she came to me and asked for the ball in most requesting manner ,I got stick to her voice, for a while ,the sound that i never heard ,expression that i never seen ,most fascinating and pleasing was the moment ,thereafter i never missed a basketball match of my school .I had been a shy guy from my birth ,I don't know how to address the people ,how to make them friends and hence always been alone ,preferred to be alone
.A lot i wanted to tell her ,but she could never make a notice of that .She gotta lot of friends from school and from coaching classes .I never preferred coaching classes for studies ,but as soon as i came to know ,i joined the same classes ,same batch .I keep gazing her for two years ,but she could never notice .i always regretted ,perhaps she could be my friend, but it didn’t happen.
Me - yu liked her ,yu followed her to her coaching classes ,yu joined same batch ,yu were from same school yet she could never noticed yu ,yu had no conversation .either she was dumb or yu were too much afraid of her .
Keshav -i was too much shy . I do remember the late February ,we had practical examination conducted by central board .Though it was a board practical exam of biology, we got same experiment to perform .Practical was to detect the amount of starch present in potato by making a slide ,using iodine indicator and observing it under microscope . I was not knowing actual procedure ,she was beside me ,i could not ask her to brief me the whole procedure . she voluntarily came and explained whole thing ,but i could not catch up anything she told, as insecurity surrounded me ,not of because that i might get catch , but she shouldn't be caught .At last she asked ,"did yu get ,now start performing ??" i said yes, just to impress her , though it was not .
This was the only conversation i had in my school . After exams, she went Nagpur, where her uncle resides.
Me- yu ??
Keshav - I came to Mumbai for further studies .I opt for science and mathematics and continued with studies .
Thereafter ,i never saw her ,neither we had common contacts .I engaged myself with science and mathematics .Though i got a lot of girls in my new institutions but i never thought for them. Each day i used to think of her ,her first voice that i heard at basketball court got stick to my mind and gonna remained last for ever . I began to think ,perhaps 10th would have never passed .I lost Parineeti ,girl whom i followed for continuous 365*2 days ,irrespective of her response .i made an
account on fb ,searched her profile ,but never found a correct match. This i had been doing for last 1 year .
Me-about 3hour before ,yu have yur break up with a girl name Pareeniti ,right ??.
Keshav - yaa .
Me- then how a guy can have break up ,without getting engaged . (i doubted) .
He continued.
Keshav - i know only one Pareeneeti ,she is only girl to whom i know . I never thought we would meet again ,was it destiny!! Or my 5 years strong determination about a single girl might have given me a prospect . Once i was reading a time line post of my friend ,just left of the post ,i saw a name suggested as Pareeneeti Pavery ,i went to profile , I was astonished !!!! IT WAS WRITTEN Pareeneeti Pavery Birth date - 5jan1993. Passed St.Paul school in 2009.
My heart reveals with a joy ,i got a life whom i lost .My happiness was equivalent to a thirsty crow ,searching for water ,suddenly found a blue appearance . Same as the ancient mariner felt after he was being saved of thunder of stormy night . That day ,i visited her profile for 120 times ,but could not dare to send a friend request .Thereafter it became my schedule to visit her profile ,view her posts ,see her friend list and log out without sending her request .
Me-yu were amazing!!
Keshav -Yaa, coward enough to sustain pain but never dared even to make her friend .
Me- then how yu could have break up!!!! I expressed my willingness to know. (he was peeling me ,not saying how actually they met ).
Because a guy could never have a break up without getting engaged until and unless he is mental or psycho person ,though he was not seems to be But maybe..
Keshav -just 6 months before from now ,16th of august ,i went to fb after 15 days ,i had exams in between ,yu must be knowing engineering exams does not allow even to breathe well .till one paper gets over ,other is in next 20 hours ,where half of the course is being set to study just in those 20 hours. We have no word called "revision "in engineering .
I tabbed for my profile ,15 friend requests were sent .I began to search 3 most prior . Down the list ,second last from bottom ,dated 1st august ,“Pareeneeti Pavery wants to be friend on Facebook".
I didn't know how to respond ,I was out of my mind ,how things could favour me to this extent .i never talked to her neither have common friends .She went to Nagpur just opposite to Mumbai , it was all unexpected happening at the time . girl to whom i like most ,for whom i wondered for 5 years sent me a friend request .i was astonished ,the grief went off ,i was cheering the moment with myself . i immediately took the cursor to the tab ,clicked ...one time ..two times ...thrice ..no respond ..Suddenly a dialogue box appeared..yu are not connected to connectivity network .I put out my LAN cable off ,and again inserted ,perhaps it would work ,but my Indian thoughts didn't work ,we don't believe that the computer runs on technology ,instead of we have strong faith on other superstitious thoughts . I searched out control panel ,clicked for connectivity and sharing network ,it instructed that some additional information may be required .I could not think what to do ,immediately dialled the customer care no ,I spoke .. What the hell with this network ,if yu can't provide a better service ,then yu should not take this responsibilities . Girl at customer care apologize for the inconveniency caused ,she took a note of my complain and consoled that i would get my connectivity in next 24 hours .
Me- haha..just 10 minutes before ,yu were praising yur destiny and very next moment yur perception might have changed !!(i commented on him )
Keshav -no!!...nothing was expected but still i got. (He optimistically replied .) It took two days of repair ,those two days ,i passed thinking what , might she would have been thinking of me ,she sent a request 15 days ago ,and these two days more passed ,i could not respond her .i need to talk to her ,wanted to know where she been for last 5years ...how she knows me ?? ..so much enquiries jumbled in my mind .
At 3rd day ,I respond to her friend request .I could feel the essence of peace that someone feels after completion of long term pending work .
Me- thank god finally yu became a friend .(with urging tone)
Keshav - (smiled ) but still a long struggle waiting for me ,i took 15 days to send her ..
Hii....
"How do yu know me???
She didn't replied for 4 days .I began to feel as i asked her very in genuine thing . As yu know, when we want to talk to someone, we could not wait, every moment passes seems to be as a century passes.
Two days passed, no reply she gave, i began to console my poor heart ."Might she be busy somewhere". She too might have internet problem ...and many more.. On 3rd day, my optimism about her began to melt ,i started feeling insecure , began to regret why i asked her this .what she would be thinking of me .A fool like me ,instead of telling hello and asking about her ,i put up a nonsense question . 4th day ,evening ,i gotta reply
“Keshav if i am correct “,yu were my classmate of St .Paul school Nasik . She was remembering me ,though i was so much uncreative ,non -talkative guy.
“How, Girls are so much pretty from their heart” .
Me-(i interrupted him) no !!.Parineeti could be but not others ,thus how i put up my words .
Keshav- yu are misogynist!!
Well, thereafter ,i frequently began to talk to her ,we were just introduced and i suddenly stroke with a self-realisation , "if i continue ,talk to her ,i may fall in love ,and thereafter if i proposed her and she came with a negative response ,where would i go ?? Though i was knowing that she doesn't know me ,yet i feel so much about her ,then getting engaged with her definitely leads me to fall in love .I would not be able to manage myself if she denies.
Me- haha ..yu were afraid of the consequence ,if she would deny .(i made a sarcastic smile and said) then yu shouldn’t see her ,liked her .
Keshav - i would have never do that, if it was in my hand .It was all destined.
Me-so what yu were going to decide ,not to talk anymore .Did yu unfriend her??
. Keshav - not exactly, but something sought of like that . I stop visiting fb so frequency as i used to .
Almost a month passed ,i changed my locality from Ghatkopar to ..Koproli...........i have been a guy who always been alone by destiny . I have never been offered any option ,instead of being asked, always instructed to do .I left out my local friends ,though very few .I said Purva (my roommate) to help me out in shifting . Purva suggested me not to leave , as i would be alone he had been with me for last 6 months ,we became besties for each other ,but however due to some problem i could not reside in Ghatkopar anymore . I didn't pay any attention towards his convincing request . Pain of separation of getting detach from a guy like Purva
was scratching me .But however i need to manage myself strong enough . He cried but i don't .He said me heartless and i said yaa i am . Later i consoled him ,Purva i am not leaving the world ,”right now” .plzz don't let me feel so bad . Then he stopped and gave a smile ,i do remember his last words ,he said " milte rehne ,bhul mat jaayiyo muje ,I gave yu 5contacts no. of mine ,please don't forget to make a call at least ".I left with my luggage .on the way ,i was synchronising with all the good and bad memories ,i had with Purva . "How he served me as a brother when i got fall on bed" .He used to carry 1kg mango daily ,half for me and when i refused to take ,he always used to say "i haven't asked " it's an order ,he never allowed me to say anything that could favour me emotionally and financially him.
Me- i suddenly spoke "did yu see, friendship with a boy remains forever, ‘therefore just don't let a girl roam around yu .She only knows to scratch the heart .
I tried to console him as he was in that phase of life where he had a break up with a girl .
Keshav-..no friend !!...yu don't know Keshav .!!!He exclaimed .
Me- what!!!, i am talking about Purva ,yur best one .
Keshav - yaa ...he had gone . "milte rehna "was the last statement i heard from him when i was leaving .Thereafter for six months ,i never called him .neither i gotta a call from him . I engaged too much with that known girl. (he was regretting )
Me- heyy ..yu did very wrong ,just for sake of a girl ,yu forgot Purva .
Keshav - yaa i know. Just six days before i called him, his all 5 number.Were denied .i went to Ghatkopar, where i resided with him.
He stopped ..his eyes gloomed and flooded .He began to stammer ..
I thought guy had his break up just 4 hours ago ,while synchronising the things ,he might get some what emotional).but the fact was something else.
Me - heyy just don't feel bad to this extent, she was only a girl .I do understand yur feelings but just don't let it to go to yur heart to this extent.
Keshav - (he regained his voice ,made the most panic statement )“Purva is no more "
Me - i was stunned ,what !!!!
How!! I asked.
Keshav-I went to Ghatkopar, asked one of my friend residing there, “where is Purva” .I am calling him and he is not responding.
Purva !!..He had left 2months before for his village "kaniyad " and never returned. He replied.
I was astonished, why?? .Had he left his studies??
"No ,he gotta domestic quarrel in between his family which led him to suicide attempt and he succeeded .Purva is no more .He directly splitted on my face ,my eyes flooded, face gloomed, body sweaten ,voice stammered,
I regretted, ohh..Purva ..why yu sacrificed ,i do remember when he shared and disclosed his family issue regarding the financial problem .
Me- ohh...it's so freaky to be heard .Money became the reason, it’s been very regretful .(i expressed my condolence .)
May god reside him in heaven ,i urged .
I wanted him to be back from Purva ,i deliberately asked " girl was Pareeneeti with whom yu engaged to this extent ??,where yu forgot even Purva ,yur best friend.
Keshav- yes !! But it was not her fault.
Me - yaa i know .How did yu get her back?? Yu said ,yu left her .
Keshav - couldn't .Koproli was a new place ,again i was stuck with loneliness ,no one to share ,to talk ,thus was being only left with social media ,where i could find some known people.I again started visiting Facebook .I got her message “keshav yu are so busy ??” I didn’t replied her for 3 days ,4rth day i lost my serenity , “no it’s not like that ,just somewhat engaged in room shifting”. I replied.
There after neither i stopped nor she .She explained how she knows me , i have brief yu about ,my 10th practical exam ,where she came and explained the whole procedure ,she told me , she was knowing that i could not understand what she elucidated. I again asked “suri “ my lab assistant ,to help me out to clear the exam. She heard the conversation that i had with suri when she left after her explanation .” I told “suri “ plzz help me out ,i couldn’t concentrate what she said ,actually i am afraid of her.I just keep moving my head up and down when she was asking “got?? though i didn’t. I just wanted her to complete however because she voluntarily came .Suri laughed and commented “the time has come where boys are afraid of girls” ,for a while I thought to smash suri for his comment ,but i let him as i was left with no option other than Suri to clear exam.
She took this to her heart “why a boy scare of me, though i don’t look like a monster ,neither i am head girl of the school. This influenced her.
While the conversation, i always concealed the fact, what i think, for how long and what she meant for me.I came in that phase of life ,where emotions ,love began to matter for me. I could feel life with a good company is far better than sucking loneliness. I gotta a person with whom i can share ,being helped and can make her moralistic part of my life. Every day, from morning wake up to late night, i began to be with her, virtually. We had late night discussion; she was very affirmative about the politics, where i used to oppose. I do remember ,how she thundered when i proclaimed “politics is nothing but a “ mud” and i am not interested” she came up with the real meaning of democracy ,she debated and won , i admitted and start following AAP ,to make her feel that ,i too began to take interest.
Me- it means she is AAP follower and because yu like her ,yu too began to follow AAP.(i commented .)
Keshav-hehe..might be.
Me-well,i have no words .....yu continue...
Keshav – 3 months before ,i proposed her..
Me- yu..yu coward !!!!!!
Keshav – yes ...
Me- but for sure, yu hadn’t tell while facing her.
Keshav- very correct!! I wrote her the message. ”Miss Pareeneeta, yu have been a girl, whom Keshav is following from the school.” I do like yu.
Me- what she replied?
Keshav- “It’s my pleasure”.was her reply.
Me –haha..Nothing more..
Keshav –what else more!!!!
Me- more. Like. Thanks, but we are good friends. .haha ..(i laughed) ,like a girl usually does.
Just joking ...like yaa i too feel the same.
Keshav-heyy...she is a girl, how could she say this. They never prefer to say this.
Me-why can’t they. They too got a mouth to speak, to express.
Keshav – yaa but ....i don’t know. But she didn’t said no.
I instantly thought ,”lo fss gayi jal machhali” machhali here refers to boy ,it means boy has been caught.
Me-she continued talking yu??
Keshav- yaa off course!!
Then i assumed, might she too like him .Otherwise in majority of cases , boys always presumed and continue...the things ,later on ....they got nothing except the immense feeling of the song like “bewafa nikli tu” .
Me- yu met her??
Keshav – yaa 2 months before from now, she was in Nasik, my home town, i too got semester break. I went there; i called her to Gangapur dam, one of the visiting place of Nasik.
At 5.pm i reached, i was feeling like, I never felt before. So much insecurities began to prevail in my mind, it was not less than a exam for a student, interview for a bachelor and promotion declaration day for an employee. While the time, I heard decelerating sound of an auto rickshaw, a girl gorges in blue-white strip top, radiant hair ,long heel sandals ,fair glow with budding face , moving towards me ,she could be no one else than pari,girl for whom I have been captive for last 5 years. She came near stretched her hand to greet, but before she could say.
I said, hii.. it’s keshav.
She said ,yaa i know...
You are beautiful, I complimented.
Pari-yaa I know!!! She sarcastically said.
Really ,this words are from my heart. I again expressed.
ohh…yur heart speaks, then what this cavity containing a tongue and 32 teeth does?? She said in most hilarious manner.
I could only give a laugh, kind of sense of humour she got can hang me out.
I thought to better shut this, otherwise girl gonna bashed me.
Then i began to tell her, how i used to gaze her at St. Paul School, Nasik. How much i waited. And all that. She too shared her experiences.
We talked for an hour, she got a call from her father to come home and she left.
Me-Then how this day came ??? i asked him the reason of “good bye “.
Keshav –Thereafter we keep on talking, during the course of time, She began to reciprocate in most unrealistic manner. Showing me her importance ,yu know when yu express yourself ,yur need ,yur priorities to someone ,and if it includes a person’s name ,in most of the cases it is lead to generation of false attitude and egoism instead of giving it a valuence.She assumed herself as my need, though she was but she began to pretend as I had been overexcited to talk her .I don’t know whether she used to do that all in hilarious mood or not ,but she suddenly changed
her attitude . I felt it very embracive. Sometimes she was very fair and caring but sometimes she sentences that could only lead to quarrels. I couldn’t judge what was wrong and what was right. Why she was doing all that ,I could’nt understand.
Me-what could be the reason of her sudden change ??
Keshav –not sure but social turbulence caused by intercasteism could be the reason.
Me-ohh….then she should interact with people of her caste only(I sarcastically said)
Keshav-yaa very true ..
(he gave smile).
but I was unable to understand ,sometimes she was more than fair but sometimes she purges out in most unrealistic manner.
Me -then yu would have also come across the thoughts like ,’I love her but she don’t ,she loves me but I don’t, we love each other but neither wanna express or no yarr.. we don’t love at all’.
Keshav-no !!! He intensively expressed.
I never wanted her to love me .It was all her choice; neither I invited her to talk. I didn’t chose her; she was chosen .Love has no choice, it’s an integrity that being felt by people who are in.She began to take an advantage of my generosity. I loved her ,but not more than myself. She had been with me from 8th standard, but I have been with myself from my birth. Love is not all about compromisation ,it’s all about mutual understanding that reveals to concrete relationship. If it was her response then I would like to prefer to have all one sided.
He began to reveal his pain by synchronising the causes and effects of his break up. I didn’t have any experience but I could see that the boy was going for long holiday with his disillusionment feelings .He enjoyed the time he got to spend with her and now he was supposed to pay for all amusive, lovable moments.
They were the people with right spirit ,but not mature enough. Girl gonna remain a girl only because they have the power to hide those stretching feelings ,but a boy is going to evolve either in form of shayar or a writer, because they could not hide .and this is the fresh example that I can set ‘,keshav ‘ neither he knows me nor I ,still he spread out his feelings in front of me.
Me-I don’t know what to say,but still I was to say”yu did right thing at wrong time” I flashed on him, what is love in yur case??
Keshav –didn’t get yu??
Me- I mean can yu elaborate the 4 letter word LOVE. Keshav- love is not a word first of all, neither one can define. Love is a involuntary action of mind , feelings of affection ,attraction that comes from heart which leads to generate a caring ,helping attitude, trust and honest characteristics, a profoundly tender ,passionate affection for one another ,feeling of warm personal attachment. Love is giving without expecting in return. It sounds like the ultimate act of self-sacrifice . But the trouble with giving, and I mean happily and limitlessly giving without expecting in return, is that one has to be self-sufficient, and full of love for oneself. So, in a way, I believe love is selfish, because only a person who loves themselves fully, can give fully without expecting, without needing, without dependency. Me-I need a break !!!! (the way he defined was a intimate approach of convince.) Time was 3 o’clock of morning .train whistled for Baroda junction.I need to have some drink other than water and asked keshav too, to get something for him as well.I just asked him for sake of asking but he didn’t refused and said me to bring amul milk which cost me more 30rs. Me-this reason doesn’t enough to have break up, and if it is only the reason, then it is very regretful.
Keshav-reasons !!!(he exclaimed) I don’t want reasons for break up,neither I believe in this word.In my perception when two people talks ,shares then there are chances of contradictions,mismatch of thoughts,not every time they can be similar.For me every one cannot be keshav ,who always supports in my thoughts and concerns.One should understand the gravity ,hidden inside the fact.It reveals a pain when I think about the people just evolving in most dislike manner because of very little things.One should be very generous and calm while such kind of things happen. The essensivity of true love lies in mutual understanding and giving priority to the right choices of yur beloved.and if someone fails to do this either by showing dictatorial behaviour with his own choices or compromising with wrong choices regarding her choices ,then it was just nothing but a kind of
attraction , but not love .I couldn’t let it to get approved just as a attraction in my own case.I like her because of her quality of thoughts that matches with her beauty that ensure a unique existence in my mind. We had many discussions ,some of them reveals to quarrels , with or without being having a genuine reason ,every time I approaches her for appology,many times she too was supportive.but this time she couldn’t make up neither I tried to get her back because of her choice.. I want her to feel free ,and concentrate on studies. And finally being responsive ,I said her good bye.
I didn’t even think of my those 5 years ,5 years without any friend but a imazination of a girl. Without any moral support but a self-assumed suggestions of her, whenever I found some panic time in my days,I always thought to impress pari ,what she would think of me, a coward !! if such a small thing reveals me pain ,thus how I could make my self .I observed her for consecutive 3 years ,what ever I found something different ,I granted those skills ,emotions,introversy ,knowledge in my own life.My loneliness was not lonely because of pari.Two marvellous people I got are purva and pari.Purva has left 2 months ago and now Pari. Life is confluence of joy and sorrow. Sometimes it make us to feel the luckiest one and as soon as yu get confidential about it ,next moment being set to flush away every thing.
Me -Well keshav ,Yur definition is mature and convincing.Yu are the guy seems very pure from heart. Just keep on moving and don’t let your self-down .I don’t say Pari would be back but definitely a fairy would come to you ,beauty as Pari and heart as Purva. Keshav gave a half sealed smile .He became the first person to whom I cannot say anything .Otherwise I have big shots for the googlies so called love. He was very true and honest .His patience ,intellectuality of words,generousity all together constitute something worth that can be praised . For next 10 minutes ,we both went for a silence .I began to search for my luggage ,down the berth .As soon as I get up to my seat,keshav suddenly put a question.
Keshav- heyy ..why yu are so much negative about love .yu seems to be somewhat misogamist kind of person.Is there any story behind this kind of behaviour or it’s being gifted to yu from yur birth.
This was the expected question from keshav .When somebody tells yu his story ,in response yu are being asked such questions.
Me hehe.. no it’s not like that you are pre-assuming. I love both men and women. Only the thing is that love stories always come to me in most hilarious way.
Keshav –why?? If I may ask.
Me- as such there is no genuine reason.
Keshav –any girl ?? As expected ,how he can leave me without asking this.I smiled as person usually does when such question being put up.
Me-I have 200 contacts in my phone.Among those only 5 or 6 might be saved with name of girls .Among those 5-6 ,three have already blocked me.Anything more yu want to know ,(I smiled and said)
Keshav -haha…(he gave a lol).May I know the reason of yur blocked contacts.
Me-Reason !!!!! as such no reason .
Train whistled ,time was 6 o clock morning ,it was suppose to reach Ahmedabad ,but was late by 10 minutes.
Me- where yur uncle resides in Ahmedabad. Keshav-near railway station ,koylapur. He pronounced kalupur as koylapur.I gave him a loud laugh . .
Me-it’s kalupur,not koylapur.
Keshav –ohh..i was told this only but it seems as meaningless therefore I fed koylapur which contain koyla that means coal .
Me -Somebody would be there on railway station or yu need to manage yourself??
Keshav –yaa..uncle’s son ,he would be already there to receive .
Train began to slow down ,rails keep on changing ,train got the signal to acquire platform .everyone in the boggy began to search for their luggage ,ladies shouting on their children to be with them. Everyone began to rush though train was having half an hour of stay.Keshav and me at last DE board the train.Keshav was to leave ,we shook hands and I delivered the last words . Me- well keshav ,it’s been great journey ,sorry as I made to extract yur whole story containing overwhelmed feelings and emotions .
Keshav-it’s fine ,what I would do keeping it as secret. Thousand of such stories are there,many are prevailing in minds of people. I observed it to share and therefore shared and made a 8 hour journey more comfortable and associative, this is the only use that I can make out of it.
His uncle’s son reached the platform to receive him . I finally said him bye , wished him all the best .
People in surrounding are in unconditional need of one another.Raggpicker was struggling to fulfil his phyisiological needs ,his prime challenge was not food but the human criticism which frighten him .He was saving himself like a mice from a cat .human could not be so much sophisticated. They are known for their wisdom, cardinal values, fraternity and integrity. We believe in sustainable development but doesn’t practice for it.
Father as a clerk was rewarded to resign for being honest to his officials.His guilt was regardless for conveying wrong information to the lady but loosing a faith and discarded by company whom he payed honesty for long years.He perceptionalised that truth and honesty would never be rewarded neither it could even save of being scold.
Boy with true love is overwhelmed with pain of break up. What could be the reason. Why girl would have showed a sudden irreponsive behaviour .Is there any social constrain that she felt and realise that are being set as society norms??.perhaps she might have changed her mind set by considering the most threatening intercast system of society. She might have felt better to supress her choice and follow the system.Is that really society mean???Are we really acquaintance with the term society. Society is a social bonding of people ,regardless their cast ,religion, linguistic and geographical background, which ensure happiness among the people.it ensures fraternity ,helping ,caring and coordinating characters of a person for assertion of a sustainable life for all. How people could have problem if a boy and a girl gets united irrespective of cast and religion. We put social boundness instead of bonding by regulating intercast system which prevails suffocation. It’s been very regretful for being a part of social network where rules and regulations are set to supress people’s choice. We assures unity in descreting the people, equity by discriminating on basis of gender ism in form of male dominating culture ,intercaste ,inter-religion and many more that could never be a part of social culture. We are challenged by our own sophisticated rules. We ensure our false existence with the social culture but the fact is that we don’t know what does society actually mean.
Are Poor not humans ????????????
Truth and honesty can be teased but never defeat!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love is life but people find a problem in it.
